Can I Start Therapy Even If I Don't Know What's Wrong?

Sometimes we know we're struggling, but we don't really understand why.

Perhaps you're feeling anxious, overwhelmed or unusually irritable. Maybe you're overthinking things, finding relationships difficult or being particularly hard on yourself.

You might even feel that something isn't quite right, but struggle to explain what that something is.

You don't need to know exactly what's wrong to begin therapy.

Understanding ourselves takes time

Our thoughts, feelings and behaviours don't develop in isolation. They're influenced by our relationships, life experiences and the ways we've learned to cope with difficulties.

Sometimes the things we do to protect ourselves, such as worrying, avoiding conflict, pleasing others or criticising ourselves, can become part of what makes life difficult.

These patterns often make more sense when we begin to understand where they've come from.

How can therapy help?

Therapy offers an opportunity to explore your experiences with someone who is interested in understanding rather than judging you.

In my work, I draw particularly on Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), which helps us understand how our minds and emotions have evolved to respond to threat, uncertainty and relationships.

We can begin to recognise why certain feelings arise, what might be maintaining them and how to respond with greater compassion and emotional steadiness.

This isn't about blaming ourselves or trying to force difficult feelings away.

It's about developing understanding and finding different ways forward.

What if I don't know what to talk about?

That's absolutely fine.

You don't need to prepare a list of problems or arrive knowing what you want to change.

We can begin with whatever feels important, whether that's something happening in your life today, a difficult relationship, a feeling you don't understand or simply a sense that things could be different.

Together, we can make sense of what's happening.

Taking the first step

I'm Matt Le Mare, a therapist and psychotherapist in Nottingham with over 20 years of therapeutic experience.

I work with adults, young people and children, offering face-to-face therapy in Nottingham and online.

I'm currently welcoming new clients.

If you're considering therapy, I offer a free 15-minute introductory conversation. It's an opportunity to ask questions and see whether working together might feel right.