How do I know if psychotherapy is right for me?

What is therapy really about?

I don't believe psychotherapy is simply about talking.

Nor is it simply about changing thoughts or reducing symptoms.

At its heart, therapy is about helping people develop a different relationship with themselves.

As understanding grows, people often become more compassionate towards themselves.

As compassion grows, people often become more emotionally secure.

As security grows, they begin behaving differently in their everyday lives.

That is why I don't see therapy as simply changing how someone thinks or feels.

The deepest changes happen when people begin responding differently to themselves, to other people and to life's inevitable difficulties.

For me, that is where lasting change occurs.

A final reflection

People often ask me why someone chooses therapy.

I don't think people come to therapy because life feels secure, predictable or easy.

Most people arrive at therapy because something has become difficult to carry alone.

They may feel anxious, overwhelmed, misunderstood or disconnected from themselves. They may feel angry in ways they don't understand, caught in repeating patterns, grieving a loss or simply aware that life no longer feels as it once did.

Many people have spent years trying to cope on their own.

What they are often looking for is not someone to give them answers.

They are looking for someone who can help them understand.

Someone who can stay alongside them while they begin making sense of experiences that previously felt confusing or overwhelming.

For me, psychotherapy is built upon that relationship.

It is built upon compassion rather than control.

Understanding rather than judgement.

Connection rather than isolation.

About Matt Le Mare

Matt Le Mare is an HCPC Registered Music Therapist, Psychotherapist, Clinical Supervisor and Consultant based in Nottingham. With over twenty years' experience, he helps adults, young people and children make sense of relationship difficulties, overthinking, anxiety, shame, anger and life's challenges through compassionate, evidence-informed therapy. His work draws upon psychotherapy, Compassion Focused Therapy, music therapy, attachment theory and trauma-informed practice.